Category: The Next Generation

When Q drops in for another chaotic visit, the Enterprise finds itself in an encounter with Star Trek: The Next Generation’s new baddies: the Borg. Is it Picard’s stubborn arrogance or distrust of Q preventing him from asking for help? Could Q have taught Picard this lesson without killing 18 UC’s? And just how do Borgs procreate?

Data spends weeks communicating with a young girl on the internet and learns that her planet is destroying itself. Thankful that Chris Hansen isn’t there when they arrive, Data breaks the Prime Directive and probably several Secondary Directives to save his new underage friend. Where is the line when it comes to saving lives? Why is Data more human than everyone else all of a sudden? And why is everyone so quick to perform a memory wipe on an alien child without consent?

When Riker’s Dad shows up after 15 years looking to make amends, father and son must beat the shit out of each other in order to deal with their feelings. Meanwhile, Worf’s going through some cultural isolation and Wesley organizes Worf’s friends to watch Worf get zapped with pain sticks over and over.

When a giant space whirlpool sends Picard 6 hours back in time, the crew must unravel a timey wimey loop knot. But when Gene Roddenberry tells Maurice Hurley to stuff it, we’re left with more questions than answers.

When the D finds some old NASA junk orbiting a strange new world, they beam down to find themselves in a shitty old novel. One long-dead astronaut later, they discover they’re trapped inside this hotel and casino and only Data’s ability to know when to hold ’em can break them free.

When the D’s sister ship is destroyed in the Romulan DMZ, Picard’s investigation turns up an Ancient Aliens bittorrent client. But when they connect without a VPN, the D picks up a nasty virus that begins rewriting their entire system code. With Data also infected, a⎍⏁ ⍙op⊑ ⎅⏃⏁g ⏃i⌇s ⟟⋏⎎⟒☊⏁⟒⎅ ⏃⌰⌰ ⊑⍜⌿⟒ ⌇⟒⟒⋔⌇ ⌰⍜⌇⏁

When the Enterprise is called to Uber the leader of a world back home, Wesley runs the young adult gauntlet of first (and forbidden) love. An overprotective mother, teenage awkwardness, and probably xenopolychlamydia stand in the way as Wesley is determined to get a handy in the Jefferies Tubes.

When some young hotshot Starfleet science lower decker drops by the D to take Data apart to see how it all works, Data’s very personhood comes into question. Did this question really need to be decided today? Was the question actually even decided?

When Riker joins the Starfleet Cultural Exchange Program, relationships begin building upon new understanding. But when literally everything else reinforces the Klingons distrust of Humans, Riker must find a way to honor his oaths to both the Pagh and the Enterprise. How much dick is one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation allowed to swing?