In a world where unrestrained capitalism pushes us to exhaustion, it’s important to unplug, unwind, and practice self care. Also true for burnt out #Enterprise crew. But when a mall Easter Bunny, the Black Knight, and Don Juan show up with a gun under a rock a relaxing day in #StarTrek paradise becomes a nightmare. Who says “he’s dead, Jim” when McCoy dies? Why was Shatner sad that he didn’t get to film with the tiger?

When the Enterprise encounters Romulan Sarek they’re launched into submarine warfare. Do Romulans believe in reincarnation? And just why are they wearing those stupid helmets, anyway? Are you being a dick when you say “everything happens for a reason?”