Category: All Episodes

When the D’s sister ship is destroyed in the Romulan DMZ, Picard’s investigation turns up an Ancient Aliens bittorrent client. But when they connect without a VPN, the D picks up a nasty virus that begins rewriting their entire system code. With Data also infected, a⎍⏁ ⍙op⊑ ⎅⏃⏁g ⏃i⌇s ⟟⋏⎎⟒☊⏁⟒⎅ ⏃⌰⌰ ⊑⍜⌿⟒ ⌇⟒⟒⋔⌇ ⌰⍜⌇⏁

When the Enterprise is called to Uber the leader of a world back home, Wesley runs the young adult gauntlet of first (and forbidden) love. An overprotective mother, teenage awkwardness, and probably xenopolychlamydia stand in the way as Wesley is determined to get a handy in the Jefferies Tubes.

When some young hotshot Starfleet science lower decker drops by the D to take Data apart to see how it all works, Data’s very personhood comes into question. Did this question really need to be decided today? Was the question actually even decided?

When Riker joins the Starfleet Cultural Exchange Program, relationships begin building upon new understanding. But when literally everything else reinforces the Klingons distrust of Humans, Riker must find a way to honor his oaths to both the Pagh and the Enterprise. How much dick is one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation allowed to swing?

When a 911 leads us to another Classic Star Trek grumpy hermit scientist, Data’s body is used without his consent to save the life of another. But when Star Trek takes the position that “no being is so important that he can usurp the rights of another,” we get mad on Adriana Smith’s behalf all over again.

This week on After School Special Trek: When the galaxy’s best mediator loses his only interpreters (and his confidence), the crew of the D must help him find a new way to move negotiations forward.

After picking up free-spirit Captain Han Sparrow, the Enterprise finds itself caught between the Capulets and Montagues. Meanwhile, Data explores a second job as a stand up comic. Will Data ever learn what “funny” is?

With nothing better to do while waiting for a meetup, Data and Geordi fuck off in the holodeck to kill some time. But when Dirty Doctor Pulaski pushes Geordi to do the “create a holodeck nemesis to outsmart Data” TikTok Challenge, shit goes sideways. Does Pulaski EVER apologize? How long can you store a hologram on a floppy disk? Why don’t the people running NuTrek™ see that filler bottle episodes like this give us time to breathe and develop characters and their relationships and stop trying to save the whole ass universe every episode?